This journalistic essay can give Western readers insight into non-Western logic that the author has found in a long career in Japan. It is also informed by research on intercultural communication, bilingualism and biculturalism. The author teaches those subjects and has a Japanese family. This 2023 update includes the author’s photo taken in Osaka of Naomi Osaka, who illustrates the strain of having to choose between national allegiances or parts of one’s own multicultural identity.